Eek Cad! The Curse has been Lifted

It is a sad confession that I must make, but I can do it now. I have seen the error of my ways, made amends for my transgressions, and will be seeking to make restitution in the days, weeks, and months ahead.
I have been afraid to CAD. That isn’t exactly right; I have been unable to CAD. As shameful as it may sound, I was intimidated, nay bullied, by a simple software program that all of my professional associates seemingly mastered soon after the tired of designing amazing fetes of awe inspiring light displays with their Lite-Brite toys.
I was able to mask my inadequacy for a long time by rendering skillful drawings on graph paper with a pencil. It was an onerous burden to know that the girls all snickered behind my back and all of the cool guys shunned me, but undeterred I was able to press on with a good game face.
I knew in my heart that some day that day would come when I would be expected to perform, in fact I had been practicing and preparing for it for several months. I had searched Google, downloaded free software, inquired into the cost of remedial classes (over $1000 – ouch!) and had private discrete conversation with trusted friends with whom I could discuss my performance issue. They all assured me that “it would happen” someday, and they encouraged me to hang in there and keep trying. I did keep trying, dutifully opening Google Sketch Up and other programs, dragging my mouse across the screen in a feeble and ultimately failed attempt to draw a box, connect some lines to it and label them. There is no shame quite like not being able to perform when requested, and while I could launch the software with not trouble, performance and finishing were elusive destinations.
Then it happened. This past week, as part of my new position as a Project Engineer, I was asked to sketch up a simple drawing of a wall that had a flat panel display and a videoconferencing camera on it. This was an important drawing because the plasma and camera needed to be centered on a table that was not resting on the center line of the room. I needed to draw the wall, indicate the center line of the wall, and then draw a rectangle representing the flat panel display and show that it was centered on the center line of the table. Just for good measure, I needed to draw a box with a circle in it to represent the camera mounted directly under the flat panel. Easy peasy.
My palms began to sweat. My new company-issued laptop had AutoCAD LT 2008 loaded on it so that excuse was shot and I had time to work on it, so that wouldn’t fly either. I double clicked on the icon sitting there on my Desktop. It glared at me, taunting me and daring me to try and make it submit. After a few hours of frustration and personal exasperation I was ready to admit defeat and reveal my inadequacy to the head engineer. I went into his office to fess up. I was always taught to turn to the Bible for guidance, so as if by divine providence, he reached over to his quick reference books and pulled out a huge volume which he handed to me and told me to take and read. It was titled AutoCAD 2000 Bible (Finkelstein, Ellen. AutoCAD 2000 Bible. New York, New York: Hungry Minds, Inc., 1999.)
I could hardly wait to sit down and search the text for the holy truths I had sought for so long. It was getting towards the evening so I took the book home, or rather to dinner with me. As I dined at Che’ Golden Corral, I also devoured the contents of this tome. (I tried to wipe the mac and cheese off of page 115 the best I could Paul – sorry!) As I read, and began to comprehend the concepts of Cartesian Coordinates, the light bulb lit up.
Cartesian coordinates were developed by some French guy named Rene Descartes a long time ago. He was the one who popularized the phrase, "I think, therefore I am." The story goes that one day he was sitting at a little sidewalk cafe in Vienna near one of his favorite haunts, the Hotel Sacher sipping coffee, eating a Sacher torte and debating some meaningless theory with a fellow philosopher when the waiter for the cafe asked Descarte if he needed anything else. Rene said, "I don't think so," and suddenly he was gone.
…But I digress. By giving the software the Cartesian Coordinates of the first corner of your box and then the opposite corner, it would draw a rectangle for you. A line is drawn by simply giving the starting point and the ending point. Armed with this knowledge, I raced back to my computer and fired up the program. I clicked on the icon in the software to draw a rectangle. I put in two numbers on the input line, hit enter, and put in two more. I hit enter once again and to my amazement, a box appeared on my screen! I then drew a few lines. In a few minutes, I had drawn several boxes, connected them with lines, and was searching through the bible for instructions on how to label them. By the time the sun rose over the east Texas horizon, I had drawn my wall with a flat panel screen and a camera. I had added “dims” (that is cool slang for dimensions), and a title.
The curse had been broken and my performance issues had been resolved. I am still far from being called a CAD artist, although some of my work does look a bit Picasso-esque. In the days to come I will be seeking out opportunities to improve and hone my skills. I am on my way to being able to do schematics, one lines, elevations, RCPs, and details. Now I can finally sit at the “cool kids” table at lunch. Sure, I’ll be a 47 year old eating peanut butter and jelly with a bunch of 15 year olds, but hey, I’ll finally be cool. I can do CAD.